Flash Fiction 13. The resumé flaw


“It’s clear she’s the best applicant for the job, but -”

James looked at the other partners of the law firm.

They knew exactly what he meant.

Richard, the head of Corporate Finance, spoke quickly to fill the silence, “She’s got excellent academic results, she’s worked in London and New York, has extensive experience in financial derivatives, credit default swaps, CDOs and distressed debt agreements, why she’s even advised vulture funds.”

They couldn’t deny Helena’s resumé was impressive. But…

There it was, the last line of the last page.

Her email address was: vampire4eternitygurrrlll.

At last Robert Milton-Montague, the most senior of the senior partners, cleared his throat.

“I understand, the young people of today blog,” he intoned with great gravity, “They have these ‘online personalities’ on the Facebook and put “selfies” on the Twitter,” he always spoke excruciatingly slowly, all the better for hourly billing, “I think,” he reached out his spindly fingers, “We should meet this young lady, the vampire4eternitygurrrlll,” he leered slightly at her resumé.

James frowned. He didn’t like to hire people with personality, least of all women with personality. He was seized with a sudden dread of quirky females. But he could not argue with Robert Milton-Montague.

“All right, I’ll get her in next week and we’ll see if she is a cultural fit.”

Helena was a tired, grim-faced woman in a dark business suit. She walked into the boardroom the following Tuesday evening and sat down without a word.

Glancing toward the closed door, she looked up suddenly, startling the men with her red glowing eyes. Her lips curled back to reveal fearsome fangs.

The men rose slowly to their feet, sending their chairs spinning.

Then they all began to laugh, exposing their own sharp pointy fang teeth. What on earth had they been worried about?

Robert Milton-Montague reached out his claw-like hand as his eyes glowed crimson, “You’ll fit in perfectly my dear. Welcome to the firm.”

*  *  *  *  *

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