There is something disturbing about an abandoned hotel. A house can fall into disrepair, windows broken, steps sagging, weeds sprouting through the floorboards. A house is easily forgotten. A hotel however is always waiting – waiting for someone to arrive.
The hotel above Lake Hanopui was one such hotel. Built in the 1920s in the foothills of New Zealand’s southern alps, it had once been a popular retreat. Now, too far from the ski fields and the glaciers, the old hotel had fallen on hard times and the last owner had moved away years before. The old hotel slid into decay, silently watching the road where motor cars of holiday makers had once driven up to its doors.
A road on which today, two figures were walking.
Ned’s mother always said he was looking for trouble. His eyes lit up as he saw the sinister form of the hotel ahead.
“No way! This place is real!”
His companion hid her face in a thick woolen scarf, “Did you doubt it?”
“I heard of it, yeah. But I’ve never known anyone who’s been here.”
“I’ll take you inside,” she ran up the slope.
He’d got talking to her at a truckstop not far from the highway and they’d hitched a ride north. They’d got off in the middle of nowhere and she’d led him across open country for a good two hours. She was kind of dangerous, and Ned liked that.
“Did you know that when the hotel closed, they forgot two guests?” she said.
Ned raised an eyebrow.
“A brother and sister. They were sensitive, highly strung. Once the cars had gone they had no way of getting back to the highway.”
“So what happened to them?”
Her eyes flashed wickedly, “Oh, they say they never left. They learned – other ways of surviving.”
Ned grinned. She was weird. But hot. He climbed through the window after her.
“Awesome,” he muttered, finding himself in a grand dining room. The ceiling was covered with mould and moss. The furniture was rotting and the mirrors on the walls were distorted and stained with grime.
At the end of the room was a tall man.
“This is James,” the girl said.
Huh. Another guy…
“This hotel is only big enough for two guests,” James said, which was odd, because the room was huge, “We’ve got used to it over the years.”
Ned grinned stupidly. Weird was the word for these two.
“I guess I make three then,” he raised his chin.
The girl shook her head, placing an icy hand on Ned’s shoulder, “No two guests only. They really shouldn’t have left us here,” she whispered as she and her strange sibling smiled.
An exercise in micro-fiction – stories which run from zero to fifty
© 2014 M. C. Dulac
23 responses to “2. Two guests”
Eekks! I’m scared. What did they do to him? Great read, thank you for sharing!
Hee hee, it was a bit scarier than my usual tales! I don’t know where that one came from.
I fear poor old Ned always gets into trouble but he might not get away this time!!
Run, Ned. Run!
I like the creepy stuff sometimes 🙂
That’s good to hear! Sometimes I get scared by creepy stuff but it’s okay if I’m writing it!
Thanks JS! I’ve been reading too many dark ghost stories I think!
A wonderfully dark flash fiction. The setting and atmosphere are really strong and eerie; and the two forgotten characters sound very menacing. ‘strange sibling smiled.’ – I love these last three words!
Thanks Donna – yes it was darker than I thought!
Abandoned hotels are eerie – maybe we have Stephen King to thank for creating that genre!
Oooh, wow, very eerie! And for some reason I did not expect it at all! 😀
It was unexpectedly scary 🙂
Yikes! You sure know how to set a suspenseful stage. I’m glad this is fiction. 🙂
Blessings ~ Wendy
It is certainly fiction! I’m glad it was effective at creating suspense – maybe too much. Let’s hope Ned gets out of there. Nothing really bad ever happens in my stories! 😉
I like everything creepy, eerie and a little scary and your story had all the three elements. Well-crafted. 🙂
Nice one. I like the way you left the ending open. Grist for the imagination mill…
Thanks! Who knows what’s going to happen….! 😉
Love the sinister description of the hotel and the way the story played out. Gave me goosebumps M.C.
That’s great! I want to try out different techniques and genres in flash fiction. I certainly managed to terrify everyone with this tale!
Oooh, loved this one! Very creepy and fast.
I think I like this flash or micro fiction thing… I may have to give it a whirl.
I’m pinning your blog to my favorites list… I like the way you write.
That’s fantastic! Do give micro fiction a whirl! I discovered the “micro fiction” form when I started blogging. It’s a great way to hone those writing and story telling skills – and it’s short enough that you can keep to a weekly schedule without too much effort!
I feel like my writing has improved enormously since I started!
There’s some wonderful flash fiction writers out there on WordPress – 300 stories, Little Write Lies (Taylor Eaton), Tales of Fiction and J Collyer are all amazing! Yes, give it a go!!!
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